English Original
ocean salt
spatters the windows
by winter’s end
I peer through a haze
of might-have-beens
Susan Constable
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
海鹽
濺落在窗戶上
到了冬末
透過一層薄霧我凝視
那些可能發生卻未發生的事情
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
海盐
溅落在窗户上
到了冬末
透过一层薄雾我凝视
那些可能发生却未发生的事情
Bio Sketch
Susan Constable’s haiku and tanka appeared in numerous journals and anthologies. Her tanka collection, The Eternity of Waves, was a winning entry in the 2012 eChapbook Awards. She served as tanka editor of A Hundred Gourds from 2012 to 2016, and co-edited two anthologies as well as judged haiku and senryu contests.
This tanka follows the classic structure beautifully, beginning with a sharp, physical image in Ls 1-3 before shifting into an emotional realization in Ls 4&5. The transition in L 3, “by winter’s end,” is both thematically and emotionally effective. It moves the reader from the external, cold grime of the world into the internal reflection of the self.
ReplyDeleteThe choice of “ocean salt” as the metaphor for the haze of regrets is tactile and resonant. Salt is both abrasive and preserving, adding depth to the concept of “might-have-beens.” It's a fitting symbol for regret: something that wears down but also lingers, much like the residue of the past.
And while the phrase “might-have-beens” can sometimes verge on cliché, it feels earned here. Grounded in the image of the dirty window, it resonates with the specific end-of-winter lethargy—where everything feels slightly blurred and stagnant, and the weight of what could have been lingers in the cold, quiet air.