winter stars
in the planetarium
false start at love
Presence, 59, 2017
Lee Nash
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
冬天的星星
在天文館裡錯誤地嘗試
談情說愛
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
冬天的星星
在天文馆里错误地尝试
谈情说爱
Bio Sketch
Lee
Nash lives in France and freelances as an editor and proofreader. Her
poems have appeared or are forthcoming in print and online journals
including Acorn, Ambit, Angle, Mezzo Cammin, Orbis, Poetry Salzburg Review, Presence, and The World Haiku Review. You can find out more from her website.
The fresh and emotionally resonant juxtaposition of "winter stars" (in the planetarium, functioning as a pivotal line; not blinking stars in the midsummer sky) and "false start at love" makes this haiku effective, and L3 enhances the "hai" (comic) aspect of the poem.
ReplyDeleteLee's haiku reminds me of my tanka that deals with a similar theme with a different ending :-)
walking out
in the middle of the lecture
on astrology
we see summer stars
in each other's eyes
Lynx, 26:3, October, 2011
Anthologized in Take Five : Best Contemporary Tanka, 4, 2012