no sky,
no land -- just
snow falling
Selected Haiku, Haiku International Association
Kajiwara Hashin (1864-?), translated by S. Kazuo, P. Donegan, and K. Tadashi
Commentary: This deceptively simple haiku is about the snow falling so ceaselessly (L3) that there is nothing but a "world of one color" (Basho's phrase): Looking up there is falling snow, and looking down there is fallen snow. The narrator is now in a snow-falling world where sky and land have disappeared (Ls 1&2). And enhanced by the effective use of enjambment, "just" in L2 adds emotional weight and psychological depth to the haiku.
This is an exemplar haiku about the act of "simply seeing -- seeing, simply."
Note: The following is one of Basho's most-loved winter haiku:
winter solitude
in a world of one colour
the sound of the wind
Below is my haiku written in response to Hashin's:
ReplyDeletesnowonsnowonsnow ...
my drunken shadow and I
alone together
PoemHunter, April 5 2015
beautiful
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