English Original
Locking the cottage
the motorcycle riders
kick-start a trip down south
po-potato-potato
po-potato-potato
David McMurray
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
鎖上度假小屋
一群摩托車騎士們
開啟南下之旅
撲通撲通撲通的引擎聲
撲通撲通撲通的引擎聲
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
锁上度假小屋
一群摩托车骑士们
开启南下之旅
扑通扑通扑通的引擎声
扑通扑通扑通的引擎声
Bio Sketch
David McMurray edits the Asahi Haikuist Network. He lives in Japan, but travels 3 or 4 times a year to Taiwan to enjoying the food and festivals -- including the moon festival -- in Taipei and Kaoshiung.
Ls 1-3 set the theme and mood while the use of both repetition and a self-coined term, "po-potato-potato," in Ls 4&5 effectively creates an onomatopoeic effect, greatly enhancing the audio-emotional aspect of the tanka.
ReplyDelete哈哈，这首诗太有画面感了！一开始“锁好小屋”那一下，我还以为是要安静退休了，结果马上“摩托骑士”就踹车出发，直接从养生模式切换到速度与激情。最后那“po-potato-potato”简直神来之笔，听着像摩托车在念土豆咒语，越听越上头。短短几行，脑海里已经出现了一部骑士公路片的预告片。酷里带萌，喜欢！
ReplyDeleteHaha, this poem is super vivid! At first, when it said “locking the cottage,” I thought it was about quietly retiring or something—but then bam! The motorcycle riders kick-start their bikes and head out, switching straight from wellness mode to Fast & Furious. And that “po-potato-potato” line? Absolutely brilliant. It sounds like the bike is chanting a potato spell—I can’t get it out of my head! Just a few lines, and I’ve already got a biker road movie trailer playing in my mind. Cool with a dash of cute—I love it!
This tanka skillfully embodies the principle of shasei—the art of capturing real-life moments with clarity and immediacy. The act of “locking the cottage” symbolizes a quiet departure from everyday life, while the rhythmic engine sounds evoke the heartbeat of a journey beginning.
ReplyDeleteThough concise, the poem is layered—it portrays a sequence of actions and subtly conveys the emotional nuances of both farewell and setting off.
用一句中国古诗来赞赏的话
ReplyDelete月出惊山鸟，时鸣春涧中。
对作者的最高敬意。
這篇俳句聲音律動感活潑有趣，並讓我聯想到一部2012台灣紀錄片"不老騎士-歐兜邁環台日記"，一群平均81歲的長者們騎著機車環島，實踐「追求夢想時，你會忘記自己幾歲」的精神。
ReplyDeleteThis haiku has a lively and rhythmic sound that I find both vibrant and amusing. It also reminds me of the 2012 Taiwanese documentary "Go Grandriders!", which follows a group of elderly riders with an average age of 81, as they travel around Taiwan on motorcycles, embodying the spirit of "When you're chasing a dream, you forget how old you are."