a tornado-twist
of pink clouds ...
this time of life
NeverEnding Story, February 17, 2025
Lorraine Pester
Commentary: This is a highly effective haiku. It captures a vivid sensory moment while pairing it with an open-ended, deeply personal reflection.
The striking contrast between the violent movement suggested by “tornado-twist” in L1 and the soft, delicate image of “pink clouds” in L2 creates an immediate poetic tension. The image is simultaneously beautiful and unsettling, suggesting both wonder and turbulence.
The ellipsis at the end of L2 functions effectively as a kireji-like pause, creating a moment of suspension between the external landscape of Ls 1-2 and the inward reflection of L3. The reader is invited to linger over the image before making the conceptual leap to “this time of life.”
L3 then transforms the preceding image into a metaphor. “This time of life” can evoke aging, a particular stage of existence, a chaotic period of change, or a beautiful yet turbulent transition. Because the poem does not specify which, the final line remains open and allows the reader to bring their own experience to it.
Ultimately, the haiku suggests the experience of being swept through a beautiful but turbulent stage of life. Its ambiguity is one of its greatest strengths: the tornado, the clouds, and the “time of life” remain suggestively interconnected without the poem explaining exactly how.
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