at four p.m.
my spirit drops down
like the sun
but then an old friend calls
chick-a-dee-dee-dee-dee
red lights, January 2014
Neal Whitman
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
下午四點
我的精神不濟
像下山的太陽
但是隨後一位老友來電
好像山雀快樂地歌唱
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
下午四点
我的精神不济
像下山的太阳
但是随後一位老友来电
好像山雀快乐地歌唱
Bio Sketch
Neal
Whitman began to write general poetry in 2005, haiku in 2008, and tanka
in 2011. He writes to be read and believes that the reader is never
wrong. With his wife, Elaine, he combines his poetry with her Native
American flute and photography in free public recitals with the aim of
their hearts speaking to other hearts.
Neal cleverly uses the placement of "-"s to mimic the sounds of a chickadee and create an onomatopoeic effect. The thematic and tonal shift makes this poem work emotionally effectively.
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