English Original
damp morning
a gray yard
before the robin
Marion Clarke
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
潮濕的早晨
知更鳥到來之前
的一個灰色院子
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
潮湿的早晨
知更鸟到来之前
的一个灰色院子
Bio Sketch
damp morning
a gray yard
before the robin
Marion Clarke
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
潮濕的早晨
知更鳥到來之前
的一個灰色院子
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
潮湿的早晨
知更鸟到来之前
的一个灰色院子
Bio Sketch
A
member of the Irish Haiku Society, Marion Clarke is a writer and artist
from Warrenpoint, Northern Ireland. Her work was highly commended in
the IHS 2011 International Haiku Competition and, in summer 2012, she
received a Sakura award in the Vancouver Cherry Blossom Festival
contest. A selection of her haiku featured in the first national
collection of haiku from Ireland, Bamboo Dreams, edited by Anatoly
Kudryavitsky. Marion’s poetry and artwork can be found at http://seaviewwarrenpoint.wordpress.com/
Through concrete imagery, Ls 1&2 set the tone and mood for the poem while "before" in L3 stretches the time dimension of the poem beyond the now moment, successfully shifts the thematic and emotive focus.
ReplyDeleteLike the narrator, the reader is now waiting for the robin's arrival, which makes the day more bearable.
This well-crafted haiku, which provokes the reader to see and think beyond the haiku moment, is a good counter example of the narrow definition of haiku (" a moment keenly captured) stated by the Haiku Society of America.
Below is another counter example of the conception of the "haiku moment:"
ReplyDeletesnowy dawn...
bits of yesterday
cling to today
Third Place, Inaugural Janice M Bostok International Haiku Award
Chen-ou Liu
Judges’ Comments (by Jim Kacian and Cynthia Rowe)
This ties the natural world with the human -- we drag the dream world into the day with us, for a bit, even as our waking obscures that other “real” world we inhabit. At the same time, snow covers what we knew of the outside, but we recognizes it's still there, beneath the covering, evidenced by its shapes
Thank you for featuring my haiku, Chen-ou.
ReplyDeleteThere is something about the appearance of a robin with its flash of red friendliness that really lifts the spirit.
Although this pales in comparison with your beautiful 'snowy dawn...' I think I will remember this one for a very long time to come. :)
marion
Hi! Marion:
Delete" the appearance of a robin with its flash of red friendliness that really lifts the spirit.'
Yes, I couldn't agree with you more.
The robin's arrival brings color and energy to the poem.
Chen-ou
Haiku is a beautiful concept.
ReplyDeleteI would be very interested in your expert opinion on my haiku site, A very British Haiku.
https://harkerhaiku.wordpress.com
Best wishes
This well crafted haiku reminded me of:
ReplyDeletethe difference
a sparrow makes –
bare branches
– Bill Kenney,
Hi! harkerhaiku:
DeleteThanks for chiming in. I'll visit your website.
Rita:
Thanks for sharing Bill's haiku.
I think Bill's haiku could be strengthened by replacing sparrow with crow.
In doing so, it works effectively as a two-axis haiku, alluding to Basho's ever-famous crow haiku below:
a crow
has settled on a bare branch
autumn evening
Look forward to reading more of your haiku/tanka (Deadline: December 1)
All the best,
Chen-ou
Note: For more information about two-axis haiku, see To the Lighthouse: Two-Axis Haiku -- See and Think beyond the "Haiku Moment," http://neverendingstoryhaikutanka.blogspot.ca/2014/09/to-lighthouse-two-axis-haiku.html
Thank you, Rita, for your kind comment.
ReplyDeleteThis little robin hopped right up to the glass door of my kitchen and was so cheeky I thought he was going to tap on it! It was the first one I've seen all winter and he really cheered up the drabness of my yard.
I love how Bill's poem suggests that the bird improves the 'bare branch' just by being there.
Best wishes
marion