long noodles
entangled in a bowl --
autumn deepens
The Heron's Nest, 18:4, December 2016
Ken Sawitri
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
碗裡的長麵條
糾纏在一起 --
深秋了
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
碗里的长面条
纠缠在一起 --
深秋了
Bio Sketch
Ken Sawitri completed her degree in psychology at the Universitas Indonesia in 1993. Her haiku won the Second Prize in the 2013 Diogen Summer Haiku Contest. In January 2018 her work was awarded as NHK Haiku Master of Week 4. She dedicated her haiku to her motherland in Listen The Spice Whispers, Haiku from Indonesian Archipelago and recorded her journey in the haiku posted at http://thisissawitri.blogspot.com
The rhetorical question raised in Ls 1&2 sets the emotional context while L3, which implies the imminent arrival of the winter, enhances the tone and mood of the haiku. And on second reading, Ls 1&2 effectively carry symbolical and emotional significance.
ReplyDeleteKen's fine haiku reminds me of another noodle poem infused with emotional and symbolic significance:
ReplyDeletetwirling noodles
around my fork—
I don’t know
how much longer
I can do this
Third Place, 2017 Sanford Goldstein International Tanka Contest
Susan Burch
This tanka starts off with an innocuous, everyday image: the narrator winding noodles, maybe spaghetti, around a fork. The shift from pasta to personal refection is an effortless one, aided by the word “long” (reminiscent of the noodles). If this small poem were read strictly on a literal level, the reader might sense some levity in the scene. But on a deeper level, the narrator’s struggles suggest a Sisyphean type of repetition—the twirling action symbolic of going around in circles. Whether the narrator is alone or at the dining table with a spouse or someone else, and whether adequate resolution will be accomplished anytime soon or at all, we’re not told but are free to imagine within the poem’s dreaming room. Throughout the selection process we, as judges, remained impressed by the author’s skill in captivating us with simple imagery and restrained language, in the process creating an effective amount of ambiguity.
-- excerpted from the judge's commentary, accessed at http://www.tankasocietyofamerica.org/tsa-contest/winners-and-judges-comments/2017-sanford-goldstein-international-tanka-contest-winners