English Original
muddy foxhole
and camouflaged soldiers
buried by a bomb
sunlight visits
the unmarked grave
First Place, 2019 Tanka Society of America Tanka Contest
Dorothy McLaughlin
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
泥濘的散兵坑
和被炸彈掩埋
的偽裝掩飾士兵
陽光探望
沒有標記的墳墓
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
泥泞的散兵坑
和被炸弹掩埋
的伪装掩饰士兵
阳光探望
没有标记的坟墓
Bio Sketch
Dorothy McLaughlin's poems had been inspired by her husband, daughter, son, and grandsons, her native Massachusetts, forty-five years in Somerset, New Jersey, her interest in history and mythology, and teaching. Her haiku had appeared in bottle rockets, Frogpond, Modern Haiku, tinywords, South by Southeast, and other journals and anthologies.
The brutality of war is eloquently captured in this standout tanka that begins with the metaphor of another hunted creature—the fox. Foxes are killers and therefore despised. We do not know who the soldiers are or when the tragedy happened, only that they are in a small tunnel or dugout. We are reminded of the Cu Chi Tunnels in Vietnam, but this tragedy could have happened at any time in any place. The soldiers are “camouflaged” for safety but the mud has given them a different kind of covering. Have they only just been found? Or will they never be discovered? There are no technical errors jarring this smoothly flowing lament. In a tightly constructed poem the first and final lines offer a perfect précis of what is happening. Time is skillfully explored. At first the action seems to be happening in the present until the pivot line, “buried by a bomb,” its force all the more surprising by the use of alliteration. Reading this line aloud requires the lips to release those sounds like tiny explosions. The bomb is both death weapon and grave digger. It drives the tanka from the present back to the past and then into the eternal. Sunlight brings peace after the conflict but it only “visits” the grave, a reminder that war is always with us all. Like sunlight, the poet also shines a light on this tragedy. In five short lines this poem sums up the devastation of war and the consequences of a lesson we have yet to learn. When will our leaders see the light?
ReplyDelete-- excerpted from Judges' report,, accessed at https://www.tankasocietyofamerica.org/tsa-contest/past-winners-and-judges-comments/2019-winners