English Original
long rainy season —
her thin kimono
heavy with grief
the unbearable weight
of another stillborn
First Prize, 2022 San Francisco International Haiku/Senryu & Tanka Competition
Pamela A. Babusci
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
漫長的雨季 —
她的單薄和服
背負沉重的悲痛
另一個無法承受
的死胎重擔
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
漫长的雨季 —
她的单薄和服
背负沉重的悲痛
另一个无法承受
的死胎重担
Bio Sketch
Pamela A. Babusci is an internationally award winning haiku, tanka poet and haiga artist. Some of her awards include: Museum of Haiku Literature Award, International Tanka Splendor Awards, First Place Yellow Moon Competition (Aust) tanka category, First Place Kokako Tanka Competition,(NZ) First Place Saigyo Tanka Awards (US), Basho Festival Haiku Contests (Japan). Pamela has illustrated several books, including: Full Moon Tide: The Best of Tanka Splendor Awards, Taboo Haiku, Chasing the Sun, Take Five: Best Contemporary Tanka, and A Thousand Reasons 2009. Pamela was the founder and now is the solo Editor of Moonbathing: a journal of women’s tanka; the first all women’s tanka journal in the US.
... Every word here is important to this poem. From the “long rainy season,” to describe tears that seem to have no end, to the “thin” kimono that doesn’t help because they’re underdressed, unprepared, and it’s of no comfort, to how “heavy” the grief is, and the “unbearable weight” that this person carries around for their stillborn child - the weight that is an actual physical weight too, and which elevates this poem beyond the cliché. And not just one stillborn, which is horrible enough, but “another” one too. The agony comes through loud and clear and we can feel the narrator’s grief along with her. Then there’s the question, is the narrator the woman in the poem, perhaps not wanting to be that woman, or someone else observing her and not knowing how to help? Since many people haven’t had this experience once, let alone twice, I would bet it’s a lonely place to be... excerpted from the judge's commentary, accessed at https://www.hpnc.org/2022
ReplyDeleteAnd the following tanka could be read as a poetic response to Pamela's:
this grief
not the grief expected
no tears
just miles of sand
and endless desert
Spring's First Caress, 2015
Brian Zimmer