freight train running through the valley the Milky Way
Frogpond, Spring 2018
Mark Miller
Commentary: Enhanced by the quick pace of its one-line format, this haiku is highly cinematic, reading like/working well as a poetic rendering of an establishing shot of a summer night train scene. Its unexpected yet visually evocative and symbolically rich ending, the "milky way/river of stars," strengthens its emotionally suggestive power.
And it might be interesting to do a thematic comparison reading of the following haiku:
the remote blast
of a freight train horn
winter solitude
Presence, 54, February 2016
Olivier Schopfer
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