jampackedelevatoreverybuttonpushed
My Red, 2021
John Stevenson
Commentary: This visual haiku is jampacked with letters; when broken apart, it reads “jampacked elevator every button pushed”. This immediately gives off a vividly concrete and relatable image of an elevator crowded with people, who are trying to get to work or go to meeting. Therefore, every single button on the elevator has been pushed.
Technically speaking, the form, visual one-liner, goes hand in hand with the play on words, jam-packed/"jampacked," and it's because so many people are in the elevator; therefore, there is no "personal space" left between riders. It's most likely that someone is accidentally, or not, doing something irritating to someone else, i.e. someone's emotional button being pushed. Therefore, the concluding phrase, everybuttonpushed, works well on two levels, literal (elevator button) and figurative (someone's "emotional button").
And my kyoka below could be read as a response poem/sequel to John's:
the door
opens and closes
every eye
escapes
into floor numbers
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