past the hens
bathing in the dirt
soundlessly
a knife sharpener
walks and is gone
The Prism of Mokichi, 2013 (trans. by Aya Yuhki et al)
Saito Mokichi
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
在污垢中
沐浴的一群母雞
無聲無息地
一位磨刀師經過
然後消失不見
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
在污垢中
沐浴的一群母鸡
无声无息地
一位磨刀师经过
然後消失不见
Bio Sketch
Saito
Mokichi (May 14, 1882 -- February 25, 1953) was a psychiatrist and one
of the most successful practitioners of the new tanka. In 1913, he
published Shakko (Red Lights), a book that created a great
impression not only on tanka poets but also on the literary world in
general. In 1951, he received the Order of Culture.
Below is excerpted from The Prism of Mokichi, p 177.
ReplyDeleteFurthermore, from the viewpoint of tanka history, [Saito Mokichi] introduced a new horizon to the tanka world by uniting two disparate things -- such as "conflict in Shanghai and red flowers of balsam," or "hens and a knife sharpener" in one tanka,... which produced a spark from the collision.
Technically speaking, this is a good example of what American poet, Archibald MacLeish, calls a "coupling of images:"
ReplyDelete"One image is established by words which make it sensuous and vivid to the
the eyes or ears or touch-to any of the senses. Another image is put beside it.
And a meaning appears which is neither the meaning of one image nor the
meaning of the other nor even the sum of both but a consequence of both-a
consequence of both in their conjunction, in their relation to each other."
It is in the "space between'" that the poem grows.
I'll further explore this technique in my forthcoming "To the Lighthouse" post.
And atmospherically speaking, the collocation of "hens and a knife sharpener" makes the poem emotionally effective as a suspenseful piece of writing. It draws readers into a story and creates a sense of momentum.