strolling together
on cracked sidewalk
the diverging lines
lead us to separate paths
though we say we are one
NeverEnding Story, September 14, 2021
Jackie Chou
Commentary: Through the use of a walking metaphor (for a slower, more contemplative way of thinking about the relationship with the speaker's loved one), Jackie's tanka effectively builds, poetic phrase (ku)/ line by poetic phrase (ku)/ line, to a thematically significant and emotionally poignant ending that reveals the theme of "dialectical tensions" (exposed by these modifiers in Ls 1,3,4,5, "together, divergent, separate, and one[ness]") in a relationship.
And it might be interesting to do a comparative reading of the following tanka:
two walking sticks
lean against
the trail head sign,
so many ways to fall
in love again
Second Place, 2017 Sanford Goldstein Tanka Contest
Tom Clausen
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