English Original
treetops sway
in a sudden autumn wind
too fierce to last
so, too, I bend tonight
to the passion in your eyes
Thelma Mariano
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
在突如其來的秋風中
樹梢搖曳太過猛烈
無法持久
所以, 今晚我也屈服於
你眼中的激情
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
在突如其来的秋风中
树梢摇曳太过猛烈
无法持久
所以, 今晚我也屈服于
你眼中的激情
Bio Sketch
Thelma Mariano is the author of Night Sky: a Selection of Tanka Poetry. She lives in Montreal and has published her tanka in literary journals as well as in various anthologies including Fire Pearls and Take Five: Best Contemporary Tanka.
This tanka excels in its use of the traditional pivot between the kami-no-ku and shimo-no-ku, with the turn occurring in L4.
ReplyDeleteLs 1–3 remain entirely within the external world of nature, evoking treetops caught in a sudden, fierce autumn wind. With L4, however, the tanka pivots inward: “so, too, I bend” transforms the natural image into an expression of human emotion and intimacy. The phrase serves as an elegant bridge between the two realms, allowing the speaker’s physical response to echo the movement of the trees.
The comparison between a sudden autumn gust—fierce precisely because it is fleeting—and an overwhelming moment of passion is deeply romantic, yet touched with bittersweetness. The wind’s intensity is tempered by the recognition that it “is too fierce to last,” suggesting that the passion described in L5 may be equally transient. The verb “bend” is particularly effective: it conveys vulnerability and surrender without implying weakness or breaking. In this way, the speaker, like the treetops, yields to a force more powerful than itself while remaining intact.
The poem’s emotional power ultimately lies in this parallel between nature and desire. The external landscape does not merely provide a metaphor for the speaker’s feelings; it gradually becomes a reflection of them. The final image of bending “to the passion in your eyes” therefore feels both intimate and inevitable, while the autumn setting quietly introduces an awareness of impermanence.