To the Lighthouse: Haiku with Two Kigo (or Two Season-Themed Words/Phrases)

Example I:

a candy wrapper

joins the leaf pile

autumn dusk

John Stevenson,  d(ark), 2014

Michael McClintock's Review (Frogpond, 37:2, Spring/Summer 2014, pp.139-40)

Pure, modern haiku! The rule-bound haikuist might argue that "leaf pile" and "autumn dusk" constitute a double-kigo, Redundancy, however, is the point. The discarded candy is a kind of kigo in itself, and is about us and the life we both live and lose here. Our debris is one and the same with the leaves of autumn. The candy wrapper becomes a vivid symbol of human existence and all that we use up and discard while we are here.

The rule-bound haikuist might argue that "leaf pile" and "autumn dusk" constitute a double-kigo

There is nothing wrong with using two season-themed words/phrases in an English language haiku. It all depends on how one effectively uses them to add emotional weight, psychological/aesthetic depth, or one more layer of meaning to the poem. And evaluated in the Japanese haiku tradition, the use of one kigo is a guideline (yakusokugoto, promise), not a rule. Japanese haiku masters, such as Basho, Buson, and Issa, used two kigo in their haiku. See the examples and reviews in the excerpt below, which is taken from Bill Higginson's Haiku World.

Redundancy, however,  is the point. 

I respectfully disagree with McClintock's remark. He doesn't make his point loud and clear. It's simply because we as attentive readers don't need to be reminded of the season being autumn to know that "Our debris is one and the same with the leaves of autumn." The season is clearly indicated by the image of a leaf pile, and thematically and emotionally speaking, the autumn in L3 adds nothing to the poem. I think "alone at dusk" or "deepening night" can enhance the emotive aspect of the poem (, and based on McClintock's reading of the candy wrapper as a symbol of human existence, the aloneness depicted in the new L1 conveys a sense of existential angst).

Example II:

one by one

fireflies escape my glass jar...

starry night

Editor's First Choice, "Insect / Bug" Haiku Thread, Sketchbook, 6:4, July/August, 2011

Chen-ou Liu

Sketchbook Editor's (John Daleiden's) Comment:

For the themed "insect / bug Haiku Thread Sketchbook poets submitted an unprecedented 273 poems; picking a single haiku as choice has been difficult... However, after narrowing the field down to ten I have reached a decision. My number one choice was submitted by Chen-ou Liu,

The narrator in this ku, possibly a child, has been collecting fireflies in a glass jar. What child has not participated in this activity on an early, twilight summer eve? Such an activity permits a close up inspection of these mysterious, luminescent creatures—an up close experience of the microcosm. Later, the narrator releases the fireflies, and one by one they escape their "glass" confinement returning to the larger world. They become indistinguishable in the clear night sky as their tiny, glowing lights become intermixed with the canvas of the night sky filled with stars. The transformation of views is dramatic—moving from a microcosmic view to a macrocosmic view. It is this shift of view point that captures my attention. The child like act of capturing fireflies as specimens for display in a glass jar is commonplace, but allowing them to escape and mingle as points of light against the large canvas of a sky on a starry night leads one to speculate on the larger questions about life. What is life? Is there life in the vast and mostly unexplored, distant universe? Are the life forms of the "firefly", a "human", and a distant "star" related? What is the origin of life? These are large questions—all of which invade my mind upon reading Chen-ou Liu's interesting haiku?

Some readers may object to the selection of this haiku as a Choice example. Both "firefly" and "starry night" are commonly listed kigos—haijin purists will hastily point out that only one kigo should be used. Yet, the vastness of the questions that arise in my mind from reading Chen-ou Liu's haiku lead me to persist in this choice.

Some readers may object to the selection of this haiku as a Choice example. Both "firefly" and "starry night" are commonly listed kigos—haijin purists will hastily point out that only one kigo should be used.

There is no abiding kigo tradition adopted and followed by the English language haiku community, and in the Japanese haiku tradition, two kigo are allowed to use. See the relevant excerpt below.

These two season-themed word ("firefly") and phrase ("starry night") play different roles in my haiku as clearly pointed out in John Daleiden's insightful review:

the narrator releases the fireflies, and one by one they escape their "glass" confinement returning to the larger world. They become indistinguishable in the clear night sky as their tiny, glowing lights become intermixed with the canvas of the night sky filled with stars. The transformation of views is dramatic—moving from a microcosmic view to a macrocosmic view. It is this shift of view point that captures my attention.

Excerpt:

The use of one kigo in traditional Japanese Haiku is a guideline not a formal requirement. Below is a relevant excerpt from Bill Higginson's Haiku World: An International Poetry Almanac ("Introduction," pp. 33-5):

Poems with Two Season Words

... Should that happen, there are three possibilities, resulting in the following placement in the saijiki. Whichever season word dominates the seasonal understanding of a poem, and thus its placement in the saijiki, is said to be the season word of that poem. (I draw examples from the old masters to show that this is not just a modern phenomenon.)

Same season: When both season words relate to topics in the same season, the poem goes under the topic most central to its meaning if there is no conflict between the topics as to the time period within the season. If a time conflict does exist, it will be resolved in favor of the more limited time period. Sample poem:

uguisu o                                 with a warbler

tama ni nemuru ka                  for a soul is it sleeping?

taoyanagi                               graceful willow

Basho

BUSH WARBLER (uguisu) is an all spring topic, but WILLOW (yanagi) is specific to late spring, so the poem belongs under the latter topic. This poem is mainly about the willow, so the placement seems doubly appropriate. Basho changes Chuang-tzu's famous butterfly-dreaming man into a warbler-dreaming tree.

Different seasons, one dominates: When season words relate to topics in different seasons, usually one or the other obviously governs, and the poem will be placed under that topic in its season. Sample:

ogi nite                                 with a fan

sake kumu kage ya               I drink sake in the shade . . .

chiru sakura                          falling cherry blossoms

Here Basho mimics a noh actor; when the play calls for drinking sake (rice wine, pronounced "sah-kay"), the actor mimes the motions using a closed folding fan as a prop. Since FALLING CHERRY BLOSSOMS (chiru sakura) is not only a topic appropriate to spring but actually happens in spring, the poem is definitely placed in spring. A FAN (ogi), normally a summer seasonal topic, can easily be present at other seasons

harahara to                            ploppity-plop

arare furisuguru                      the snow pellets come down

tsubaki kana                          on these camellias

Buson

SNOW PELLETS or graupel (arare--often translated as "hail") may fall any time of year, but has long been recognized as a winter seasonal topic. When it is coupled with a topic strongly associated with springtime, such as CAMELLIAS (tsubaki), the poem in question must also find itself in spring. With the camellias, Buson does not have to say "spring snow pellets" (hara no arare), though that is a seasonal topic in its own right. NOTE: These camellias are most likely red.

Different seasons, neither dominates: When season words relate to topics in different seasons and there is no way to say definitively that the experience belongs in one or the other, the poem will be placed under the most appropriate topic in the all-year section. Sample:

tsuki hana ya                         moon and blossoms . . .

yonjukunen no                       forty-nine years of

muda aruki                            pointless walking

Issa

Though MOON is an autumnal topic and BLOSSOMS belongs to spring, here Issa uses "moon and blossoms" to mean poetry. Rather than preaching to others about art, Issa is mumbling to himself that his life has amounted to nothing but worrying about "moon and blossoms" -- a pointless task. Since the theme of the poem relates to "years" it belongs in the all-year section, under the topic YEAR or YEARS.

Note that most apparent conflicts between a season word and a word or phrase in a poem that might place the poem under a topic in the all-year section of the saijiki resolve in favor of the appropriate seasonal topic.


Note: My haiku above written for Peggy Willis Lyles, who helped me to publish my first English language haiku, and in response to her  haiku below:

lights out

... the firefly

inside

To Hear the Rain, 2002

Peggy Willis Lyles