the moon’s
thin smile as I begin
to write
grows wider
when I mention you
Honorable Mention, 2012 TSA International Tanka Contest
Lesley Anne Swanson
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
當我開始書寫時
月亮展現淺淺的微笑
當我提到你時
它逐漸變成
笑臉盈盈
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
当我开始书写时
月亮展现浅浅的微笑
当我提到你时
它逐渐变成
笑脸盈盈
Bio Sketch
Lesley Anne Swanson has lived in Northern California, the Southwest, and the Pacific Northwest, but now calls Pennsylvania home. Always a wordsmith, she discovered tanka in 2011 and has been enthralled ever since.
Below is excerpted from the judges' comments, accessed at http://www.tankasocietyofamerica.org/tsa-contest/winners-and-judges-comments/2012-tsa-international-tanka-contest-winners
ReplyDeletethe moon’s
thin smile as I begin
to write
grows wider
when I mention you
Lesley Swanson
And our smile, figurative or real, grows as we easily visualize this loving scene, especially with the nice element of surprise in the last line.
The change in moon phases (the moon’s/thin smile ...grows wider) not only indicates the passage of time (,which means the speaker spends days on writing), but also works effectively as a symbol of affection.
ReplyDeleteA well-crafted tanka on writing about one's relationship.
re: moon's thin smile tanka last year
ReplyDeleteThe poem was intended to be an attempt at Japanese animism, i.e. the moon watching what I was writing, reading over my shoulder, and breaking out into a smile when I "mentioned you" -- whoever that might be, the moon showed its approval by widening its smile as I wrote.
I hadn't thought at all about the time element that you described in your comment -- so thanks for enlightening me about my own writing (smile) !
-- excerpted from Lesley's email dated March 28, 2016