English Original
half-empty bed
I try to recall
his faults
Heron's Nest, 16:3, September 2015
Peggy Heinrich
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
半空的床
我嘗試追憶
他的缺點
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
半空的床
我尝试追忆
他的缺点
Bio Sketch
Peggy
Heinrich's haiku have appeared in almost every haiku journal both
nationally and internationally and in many anthologies. Awards include
Top Prize in the Yamadera Basho Memorial Museum English Haiku Contest in
both 2009 and 2010. Peeling an Orange, a collection of her haiku with photographs by John Bolivar, was published in 2009 by Modern English Tanka Press. Forward Moving Shadows, a collection of her tanka, with photographs by John Bolivar, was published in 2012.
There is a tonal difference between Peggy's haiku and its following variants, which read more like senryu:
ReplyDeletehalf-empty bed
I recall
his faults
half-empty bed
I count
his faults
In Peggy's haiku, "try to recall" enhances not only the "hai" aspect but also the emotional aspect of the poem. There is something emotionally/psychologically ambiguous about the speaker's feeling towards her former lover.
I agree, Chen-ou. For me, 'try to recall' suggests that the narrator is missing this person, but is trying to convince herself otherwise by remembering his bad faults. 'Half empty bed' also made me think of the phrase 'half a mind', suggesting not resolute. Very effective.
ReplyDeletemarion
Marion:
DeleteThanks for sharing your wonderful thoughts. I like your concluding comment very much.
Chen-ou