dewdrops
on a blade of grass
at twilight
this lingering fear,
I want a divorce
surge of the wind ...
her voice hardens
into its rigid strength,
I love you, Eric,
but I can't stand you anymore
all those nights
her moist smile nuzzled
the nape of my neck ...
now in the dim light
one wedding pillow left
a white trail
left in the winter sky
by her plane --
I still wait for the turn
and wave of her hand
Third Prize, Haiku Canada Tanka Story Contest, 2016
Chen-ou Liu
Judge's Comment by Angela Leuck (Haiku Canada Review, 10:1, February 2016, p. 47): The story is enhanced by effective and contrasting imagery: the poet refers to delicate, transitory phenomenon like "dewdrops" and a plane's "white trail," while the wife's steely determination to leave is indicated by the use of strong words like "blade," "hardens" and 'rigid strength." The poet also evokes endings through reference to the day's end: "twilight" and "dim light."
The following tanka sequence, "Happy Families Are All Alike,' could be read as a prequel to the tanka sequence above:
ReplyDeleteHappy Families Are All Alike
she and I
sit across the table
in the morning
bearing the silence
of another new year
separated
and yet living quietly
under the same roof
we used to share
a ripe pomegranate
she can’t stand me
even in a photo
bits and pieces
of our honeymoon
drifting into the dark
Atlas Poetica, 21, 2015
Chen-ou Liu