paths crossing ...
a songbird becomes
the wind
Peter Jastermsky
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
路途交錯 ...
一隻會唱歌的鳥成為
一陣風
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
路途交错...
一只会唱歌的鸟成为
一阵风
Bio Sketch
His pen silent for 30 years, Peter Jastermsky reemerged 2 years ago as a writer of Japanese short-form poetry. His work has appeared in many journals, including Failed Haiku, Haibun Today, The Cherita, and KYSO Flash. Peter and his family live in Southern California, where he works as a licensed counselor.
Peter skillfully employs the technique of "register shift" to indicate a "sudden irruptive shift" in the perceptual landscape of this nature haiku. And thematically, emotionally, and technically speaking, I think the haiku might work better in the form of a one-liner (without "..." )because of its quick pace:
ReplyDeletepaths crossing a songbird becomes the wind