English Original
in tonight's sky
your memory still lingers
a thin moon
growing fainter with each step
I take towards home
Thelma Mariano
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
在今晚的天空
你的記憶依然揮之不去
一輪薄月
在我回家的路上每走一步
它都變得越來越幽微
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
在今晚的天空
你的记忆依然挥之不去
一轮薄月
在我回家的路上每走一步
它都变得越来越幽微
Bio Sketch
Thelma Mariano is the author of Night Sky: a Selection of Tanka Poetry. She lives in Montreal and has published her tanka in literary journals as well as in various anthologies including Fire Pearls and Take Five: Best Contemporary Tanka.
The implied simile established between your/the speaker's loved one's memory (Ls 1&2) and a thin moon (L3) is visually and emotionally poignant, and Ls 4&5 work well on two level, literal and figurative, foreshadowing the speaker's relationship with his/her loved one: fainter memory/weaker relationship.
ReplyDeleteAnd it might be interesting to do a thematic comparative reading of my tanka below, which could be read as a prequel to Thelma's:
honey melon moon
in the black bowl
of the sky
I remember the taste
of our summer kiss
Gusts, 28, Autumn/Winter 2018