Version I:
a paper boat
made from early drafts
of my poem
sails down the river ...
moonlit memories
Version II:
a paper boat
made from early drafts
of my poem
sails down the river
of moonlit memories
Version III:
a paper boat
made from early drafts
of my poem
sails down the river ...
of moonlit memories
Note: Below is the poem mentioned in the tanka above:
Our Story
after Li-Young Lee
late into night
unable to see
in one darkness
of falling snow
I close my eyes
to see another
in a dream
told in a language
in which I’m a guest
I see Li-Young Lee
fold a paper boat
and send it swirling
down the moonlit river
of my memories
Published in Shot Glass Journal, 5, 2011
There are three different river images in the tanka above: realist, metaphoric, and realist cum metaphoric (in the stream of consciousness).
ReplyDeleteIn Version III, the prepositional phrase in L5 is mainly used to disrupt the reader’s expectation, making the spatiotemporal shift.