june breeze
a hole in the cloud
mends itself
Third Runner-Up, The Heron's Nest Readers' Choice Popular Poets Award (2001)
an'ya
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
六月微風
雲彩的一個破洞
它自己修補自己
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
六月微风
云彩的一个破洞
它自己修补自己
Bio Sketch
an'ya is a haiku and tanka poet who has been published in over 60 foreign languages, and appeared in places and publications worldwide. If you would like to read more of her works and a complete biography, please visit https://sites.google.com/site/existencearts/
"This haiku is concise, vivid, and beautifully focused. We are first asked to feel a balmy 'june breeze.' Then our eyes are drawn heavenward, where we see a familiar sight: a cloud with a ragged hole in it. As we watch, the hole becomes smaller, the edges pulled together as if by invisible stitches.
ReplyDeleteAnother observer might have allowed his or her gaze to wander on, no doubt to a 'more interesting' scene. But something about that hole caught and held the author's attention. As she watched air currents play with the cloud, an'ya felt the flash of realization that inevitably burns itself into a poet's heart — the moment that a small drama is discovered in an ordinary scene.
The moment, more vivid to the poet than any photo could be, was recorded in her memory
It is our gain that an'ya evolved her vision into words and then shared them with us. It's amazing to imagine a thing as wispy and watery as a cloud 'mending itself', yet this is a scene I'm sure I have witnessed mazny times without a second thought. 'june breeze' and the shifting shape of a cloud suggest a light, carefree mood. an'ya's haiku is powerful as pure imagery alone, but it's more than that. I see the cloud and its action as metaphor for our own fragility, and the way we constantly mend ourselves. Not only do we heal our bodies, but our intangible emotions as well . . . our hearts."
— Ferris Gilli, Associate Editor of The Heron's Nest, https://sites.google.com/site/existencearts/haiku-haiga-1
an'ya's good verb choice indicates the passage of time, adding a contemplative feel to the poem. Ls 2&3 work well on at least two levels, literal and metaphoric. I principally agree with Ferris Gilli's closing comment, which is thematically and emotionally resonant with an'ya's tanka version below:
ReplyDeletejune breeze
a hole in the cloud
mends itself
if only broken hearts
were so easily repaired
In my view, this three-part tanka could be enhanced by rewriting its upper verse. A tanka is not a haiku with two extra lines.