English Original
first prayer
a galaxy of stars
within each breath
Honorable Mention, 74th Basho Memorial English Haiku Contest
Pamela A. Babusci
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
第一次祈禱
在每次冥想吐息中
湧現一座星系
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
第一次祈祷
在每次冥想吐息中
涌现一座星系
Bio Sketch
Pamela A. Babusci is an internationally award winning haiku, tanka poet and haiga artist. Some of her awards include: Museum of Haiku Literature Award, International Tanka Splendor Awards, First Place Yellow Moon Competition (Aust) tanka category, First Place Kokako Tanka Competition,(NZ) First Place Saigyo Tanka Awards (US), Basho Festival Haiku Contests (Japan). Pamela has illustrated several books, including: Full Moon Tide: The Best of Tanka Splendor Awards, Taboo Haiku, Chasing the Sun, Take Five: Best Contemporary Tanka, and A Thousand Reasons 2009. Pamela was the founder and now is the solo Editor of Moonbathing: a journal of women’s tanka; the first all women’s tanka journal in the US.
L1, "first" prayer, sets the theme and tone of this spiritually-fueled haiku while the use of hyperbole in Ls 2&3, a "galaxy of stars"/within "each breath," effectively enhances a sense of sincerity and honesty about praying in L1.
ReplyDeleteFor more about the use of hyperbole, see "To the Lighthouse: A Rhetorical Device, Hyperbole, accessed at http://neverendingstoryhaikutanka.blogspot.com/2015/03/to-lighthouse-rhetorical-device.html
It might be interesting to do a comparative reading of my haiku below:
Deletefirst firefly
among the stars …
a child’s wish
Haiku Commentary, March 31, 2020
See the editor's detailed analysis here, https://haikucommentary.wordpress.com/2020/03/31/chen-ou-lius-first-firefly/