winter chill
behind a slammed door
her taste for vodka
NeverEnding Story, January 20, 2023
Marion Alice Poirier
Commentary: L1 sets the tone and mood of the haiku, while unexpected yet thematically significant and emotionally poignant L3 could be read as either one of possible causes for L2, or the result of the violent action depicted in L2, a "slammed door," which functions like the metaphor for a communication failure .
A poignantly effective middle-of-the-story winter haiku where the coldness, both physical and emotional, is etched in every line.
It might be interesting to do a thematic comparative reading of my haiku below:
ReplyDeleteonly the sound
of ice in my bourbon
winter solstice
seashores, 5, 2020