English Original
baby’s first steps
a mother’s breath
on tiptoe
Wales Haiku Journal, Spring, 2022
Kelly Sargent
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
寶寶的第一步
母親的呼吸
戰戰兢兢
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
宝宝的第一步
母亲的呼吸
战战兢兢
Bio Sketch
Kelly Sargent is a widely-published poet and the author of Bookmarks (Red Moon Press, 2023), a collection of haiku and senryu. Honors in 2022 and 2023 include: The Touchstone Awards for Individual Poems (nomination),The H. Gene Murtha Memorial Senryu Contest (honorable mention), Golden Haiku Poetry Contest (recognition), and The Mukai Haiku Festival Poetry Competition (winner).
This haiku is well-crafted—quiet, tender, and deeply perceptive, culminating in a beautiful turn in the final line.
ReplyDeleteWhile L 1 establishes the baby's physical movement, Ls 2&3 shift the focus to the mother's internal and physical response. Her body instinctively participates in the child’s tentative movement. The image of her breath being "on tiptoe" effectively captures how she holds herself back to let the child explore, even as her entire being leans into the moment.
Ultimately, the strength of this haiku lies in its restraint. Rather than explicitly stating that the mother is nervous, proud, or fearful, the poet allows the breath and the act of tiptoeing to evoke those emotions. By showing rather than telling, the poem invites readers to feel the weight and fragility of the moment without a single emotion being named.