English Original
in a note to myself
i list the deck’s split board
the rake’s missing tine
the gate’s broken latch ...
and then there’s me
Arithmetic, 2020
George Swede
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
在給自己的便條裡
我列出甲板的木板裂開了
耙子少了一根耙齒
大門的門閂壞了 ...
然後, 還有我自己
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
在给自己的便条里
我列出甲板的木板裂开了
耙子少了一根耙齿
大门的门闩坏了 ...
然后, 还有我自己
Bio Sketch
George Swede's most recent collections of haiku are Almost Unseen (Decatur, IL: Brooks Books, 2000), Joy In Me Still (Edmonton: Inkling Press, 2010) and micro haiku: three to nine syllables (Inspress, 2014). He is a former editor of Frogpond: Journal of the Haiku Society of America (2008-2012) and a former Honorary Curator of the American Haiku Archives (2008-2009).
This understated tanka works well, particularly in its closing turn. It begins by cataloguing ordinary household repairs and ends by recognizing—or admitting—that the speaker belongs on the same list.
ReplyDeleteThe damaged objects in Ls 2-4 are specific and unglamorous, each suggesting something that has deteriorated through use or neglect. Together, they create a subtle progression: a split, a missing piece, a failure to close. The final image, the gate’s broken latch, is particularly suggestive, evoking something that can no longer secure or protect.
In L 5, “and then there’s me,” is almost offhand, as though the speaker has just acknowledged an item that has been staring them in the face all along. The turn is effective because the tanka never specifies what is wrong with the speaker. Physical damage becomes a metaphor for emotional, psychological, or existential wear, leaving readers free to interpret the implications. The plainspoken ending avoids self-pity or overstatement; its quiet directness gives the poem its sting.
It might be interesting to do a thematic reading of the following tanka:
Deleteher to do list
so much longer than mine --
here I sit
biting an apple
down to the core
American Tanka, 25, 2015
Lesley Anne Swanson