a woman
holds a waving child high
as the train passes
where ... when ...
did summer disappear
The Way of Tanka, 2017
Francine Porad
The Way of Tanka, 2017
Francine Porad
Commentary: The woman and child in this tanka do not have an obvious connection with summer until the pivotal line describing something passing speedily, "the train" is introduced. It links the two topics perfectly as the train passing speedily past the mother and child is compared with summer passing speedily in the consciousness of the writer, and may also be subtly suggesting that childhood moves to adulthood too fast ...
-- excerpted from "Pivot Lines and Last Lines," p. 37, The Way of Tanka, written by Naomi Beth Wakan (For more information, see my "Cool Announcement" post, New Release, The Way of Tanka by Naomi Beth Wakan)
Below is Naomi Beth Wakan's view of "pivot line:"
ReplyDeleteThis link, this pivot, as I said earlier, is often the third line of the tanka, In a way, it is hanging in the air so the poet can use it to swing from objective to subjective mood., or vice versa. To fulfill its function, therefore, the pivot line must make sense when read with the first two lines as well as when read as a precursor to the last two lines. In other words, the pivot line means one thing as a finish to the first couple of lines and something else as a herald to the last two lines. By this linking, both the initial image and the reaction to it are not just joined, but are taken to deeper depths, and the full five lines resonate more fully with unexpected harmonies. The pivot line adds a richness to each section as well as revealing their connection....
-- excerpted from from "Pivot Lines and Last Lines,"pp. 36-7, The Way of Tanka by Naomi Beth Wakan
For further discussion, see my "To the Lighthouse" post, "Pivot," accessed at http://neverendingstoryhaikutanka.blogspot.com/2018/09/to-lighthouse-pivot.html