dawn-wet grass
my daughter’s command voice
across the parade grounds
A New Resonance 12: Emerging Voices in English-Language Haiku, 2021
Hannah Mahoney
Commentary: Enhanced by the cinematic zoom-out technique, this haiku works effectively from the (speaker's daughter's) feet in the dewy grass (L1) at dawn, to include the audio ("command voice") and shift of focus to the daughter (L2), while the haiku lens widens to the thematic context of the parade (L3). This haiku works literally and symbolically from the newness of a day and the daughter to the change to imminent adulthood and leadership.
Note: For more about the cinematic techniques employed in haiku composition, see "To the Lighthouse" post, Arranged Marriage of Haiku and Cinema.
No comments:
Post a Comment