English Original
in five-seven-five
I compact confusing thoughts ...
New Year's morning dew
Simply Haiku, 10:3, Spring/Summer 2013
Damir Janjalija
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
我將混亂的想法
壓縮成五-七-五音節形式 ...
新年的晨露
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
我将混乱的想法
压缩成五-七-五音节形式 ...
新年的晨露
Bio Sketch
Damir Janjalija, aka Damir Damir, was born in 1977 in Kotor, Montenegro. He is a sailor, a wanderer, and a poet who wakes up every morning to a different now. He published a bilingual haiku book, Imprints of dreams, in 2012.
The original haiku written by Damir is as follows:
ReplyDeletein five-seven-five
I compact confusing thoughts . . .
New Year's day
With his permission, I replaced L3 with the following line:
New Year's morning dew
The revision (with its 5-7-5 syllabic structure) works effectively as a meta-haiku; furthermore, the new L3 not only enhances the visual power of the poem, but also adds at least one more layer of meaning to the poem.
For more information about the syllabic structure of haiku, see To the Lighthouse: Collage-esque Perspectives on the Syllabic Structure of Haiku, which can be accessed at http://neverendingstoryhaikutanka.blogspot.ca/2013/12/to-lighthouse-collage-esque.html