Monday, May 18, 2015

Butterfly Dream: Bare Aspens Haiku by Carl Seguiban

English Original

bare aspens –
a jay's fading notes
stir the glade

Editor's Choice,  Cattails,  September 2014

Carl Seguiban

Chinese Translation (Traditional)

光禿的白楊樹 -

Chinese Translation (Simplified)

光秃的白杨树 -

Bio Sketch

Carl Seguiban resides in British Columbia which inspires his haiku. His poems have been published in Mayfly, Modern Haiku, Frogpond, Bottle Rockets, A Hundred Gourds, Moongarlic, Presence, Under the Basho, paper wasp, The Heron's Nest, Cattails, Prune Juice among others.


  1. Below is excerpted from the comment by an'ya, cattails principal editor, which can be accessed at

    This haiku by Carl Seguiban from Canada, is similar in form to Claire's haiku (above) insofar as Carl could have just as easily said "bare aspens/a jay's fading notes/in the glade", but instead he chose to say bare aspens/a jay's fading notes/stir the glade", which made the difference. Once again, we experience a common scene presented in an uncommon way. A bonus in both Carl's and Claire's haiku, is that self is never mentioned in either.

  2. hint of cool . . .
    the old cat makes a rug
    of sunlight

    Claire Everett

    Just as most editors do when selecting haiku, I look for something common presented in an uncommon way, and this one by Claire Everett from the UK, fits that bill. She could have just as easily said "hint of cool . . ./the old cat on a rug/in the sunlight, but instead Claire says hint of cool . . . /the old cat makes a rug/of sunlight." Quite a difference the fine-tuning in one's haiku, makes! --
    —an'ya, cattails principal editor

  3. we experience a common scene presented in an uncommon way. -- an'ya,

    The scene is portrayed through a subjective lens. Carl's well-chosen verb, stir, infuses the landscape (kei) with human emotion or sentiment (jo), successfully elevating the poem out of the ordinary.

    In poetry, the scene (kei) is always in the emotion (jo), and the emotion is always in the scene. -- Kaibara Ekiken