English Original
this slum with a moon in every puddle
Presence, 43, January 2011
Martin Gottlieb Cohen
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
這個貧民窟每個水坑裡面都有一個月亮
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
这个贫民窟在每个水坑里面都有一个月亮
Bio Sketch
this slum with a moon in every puddle
Presence, 43, January 2011
Martin Gottlieb Cohen
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
這個貧民窟每個水坑裡面都有一個月亮
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
这个贫民窟在每个水坑里面都有一个月亮
Bio Sketch
Martin
Gottlieb Cohen was born in the South Bronx somewhere on Simpson Street,
went to a Yeshiva on East Broadway and Canal Street, and then lived in
the South of Brooklyn, the South of Long Island, The Southern Tier of
Upstate New York, The South of Manhattan, and finally South Jersey in
Egg Harbor
This holds a world-weary tone, all the promises the world makes--a moon in every puddle--surrounded by the truth of the slums. But the optimist is also at work here--for noticing so many...
ReplyDelete-- excerpted from Peter Newton's commentary, accessed at https://tinywords.com/2012/11/28/9964/#idc-cover
Emotionally speaking, I'm not sure if the quick pace of a one-liner works effectively.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if the following three-line revision (where the zoom-out technique is employed) might lift the original up a notch:
a moon
in every puddle ...
this slum
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI like the reverse ending with the moon…
Deletethis slum
in every puddle
full moon