English Original
my mouth
full of fingers, the dentist
asks about holidays
Valley Micropress, 13:2, 2010
André Surridge
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
我的嘴巴
滿是他的手指, 牙醫
詢問假期
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
我的嘴巴
满是他的手指, 牙医
询问假期
Bio Sketch
André Surridge was an award-winning playwright and poet who immigrated to New Zealand from Yorkshire, England in 1972. He was President of the Playwrights Association of New Zealand from 1998-2000. Widely published, some of his awards included: 1995 Minolta Playwriting Award, 2007 Elizabeth Searle Lamb Award, 2008 Tanka Splendor Award, and 2010 Jane Reichhold International prize. And his first collection of haiku ans senryu, one hundred petals, was critically acclaimed in 2019.
The use of a midline break (,) in L2 effectively enhances the technique of the riddle employed in this highly relatable dentist haiku with a senryu-like bent
ReplyDeleteAnd the following haiku could be read as a prequel (the first) and a sequel (the last) respectively to André's (the middle):
open-mouthed
listening to my dentist plan
his New Year party
Multiverse, 1:1, 2012
Sonam Chhoki
a steady rain
the dentist’s drill
turning to snow
Frogpond, 9:1, 1986
Jane Reichhold
For more about the technique of the riddle, see "Dark Wings of the Night: Jane Reichhold's Haiku Techniques," accessed at http://neverendingstoryhaikutanka.blogspot.com/2017/02/dark-wings-of-night-jane-reichholds.html