English Original
sky teeming
with scintillating stars
once in a while
it would be nice
to be loved
Honourable Mention, British Haiku Society Awards, 2025
Pamela A. Babusci
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
天空佈滿
閃爍的星星
偶爾
被人關愛
該有多好
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
天空布满
闪烁的星星
偶尔
被人关爱
该有多好
Bio Sketch
Pamela A. Babusci is an internationally award winning haiku, tanka poet and haiga artist. Some of her awards include: Museum of Haiku Literature Award, International Tanka Splendor Awards, First Place Yellow Moon Competition (Aust) tanka category, First Place Kokako Tanka Competition,(NZ) First Place Saigyo Tanka Awards (US), Basho Festival Haiku Contests (Japan). Pamela has illustrated several books, including: Full Moon Tide: The Best of Tanka Splendor Awards, Taboo Haiku, Chasing the Sun, Take Five: Best Contemporary Tanka, and A Thousand Reasons 2009. Pamela was the founder and now is the solo Editor of Moonbathing: a journal of women’s tanka; the first all women’s tanka journal in the US.
This tanka’s emotional force lies in its sharp juxtaposition between the vast, “teeming” cosmos of Ls 1&2 and the quiet simplicity of the speaker’s desire in Ls 3-5.
ReplyDeleteLs 1–2 evoke a sky alive with motion and brilliance—“teeming” and “scintillating” suggesting both abundance and restless energy. This sense of overwhelming immensity renders the human voice that follows in Ls 3-5 all the more intimate and exposed.
Against this expansive backdrop, Ls 3-5 contract into a deeply personal register. The understated phrasing—“once in a while / it would be nice / to be loved”—carries a disarming humility. Rather than a dramatic declaration of loneliness, the speaker frames his/her longing as occasional, almost tentative, which heightens its poignancy.
L3, “once in a while,” is especially effective: it implies a life of relative self-sufficiency, yet admits to fleeting moments when that independence falters. Beneath the immense, indifferent sky, this small, human wish resonates more powerfully precisely because of its restraint.
Eric, many thanks for publishing my HM tanka & your lovely commentary!
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