vagabond sun ...
nothing but ink to nail
my shadow
Simply Haiku, 9:3&4, Autumn/Winter 2011
Claire Everett
Commentary by Robert D. Wilson ("Top Ten List,"
Simply Haiku, 9:3&4, Autumn/Winter 2011): The sun is a vagabond, always on the move, and she doesn't shy away from personification, seeing nature as her equal. The sun, a star, has a life of its own that we do not understand. It is never static, always changing, at one with the zoka. Everett was outdoors writing poetry, entranced by the sun, who as it wandered, so did her shadow. Having nothing with her but a fertile mind, a tablet, and an ink pen, she captured her shadow and the sun, by writing a haiku...
Commentary by Robert D. Wilson ("Study of Japanese Aesthetics: Part IV,"
Simply Haiku, 9:3&4, Autumn/Winter 2011): The use of “vagabond sun” indicates an act of nature guided by zoka that cannot stay still, and is a continuum of becomingness. A “shadow” is an act of nature caused by an
interaction of darkness and light, without set design, also in a state
of becomingness. Everett’s poem, of course, is an activity-
(process/koto) biased haiku not centered around an object described
subjectively. It is the state of becomingness (the process) that makes
her haiku stand out, and memorable. Because the sun is in a continual
state of motion, it continually travels over high trees, behind
mountains and clouds; her shadow, lightly visible, allegorically can
only be still in the thick of darkness (“ink”) enhanced by the word
“nail.”
The sun is a vagabond, always on the move, and she doesn't shy away from personification, seeing nature as her equal... Having nothing with her but a fertile mind, a tablet, and an ink pen, she captured her shadow and the sun, by writing a haiku... The use of “vagabond sun” indicates an act of nature guided by zoka that cannot stay still, and is a continuum of becomingness. A “shadow” is an act of nature caused by an interaction of darkness and light, without set design, also in a state of becomingness...
Claire's use of the personification in a combined strategy of lifestyle ("vagabond") and writing ("ink to nail/my shadow") is a more interesting and original technique of presentation. This is a good example of how to effectively use personification in writing haiku, and it reminds me of the following remark by Donald Keene, author of The Winter Sun Shines in: A Life of Masaoka Shiki:
A haiku or a tanka without "
rhetoric" was likely to be no more than a brief observation without poetic tension or illumination (p. 57).
