tracks of birds
meander through snow ...
the surgeon
marks her left breast
with a cross
First Place, Tanka Section, 2016 British Haiku Society Awards
Debbie Strange
Chinese Translation (Traditional)
小鳥腳印
蜿蜒穿過雪地 ...
外科醫生
在她的左乳房上面
標誌一個叉叉
Chinese Translation (Simplified)
小鸟脚印
蜿蜒穿过雪地......
外科医生
在她的左乳房上面
标志一个叉叉
Bio Sketch
Debbie
Strange is an award-winning Canadian short form poet, haiga artist, and
photographer. Keibooks released her full-length poetry collection, Warp and Weft: Tanka Threads in 2015, and Folded Word published her haiku chapbook, A Year Unfolding in 2017. An archive of publications may be accessed at www.debbiemstrange.blogspot.ca.
The winning entry stood out to me immediately. The use of strong, fresh images successfully creates both contrast and impact, while leaving enough space for the reader to fill in. I have read this tanka over and over again, and still, it has not lost its appeal. The strength lies in the juxtaposition between different types of marks. . . I felt myself drawn in, wishing to further explore the man-made nature of the cross left by the surgeon, in relation to the 'tracks of birds' in snow. The effect is striking, dramatic even. The reader is further invited to explore the silences between the five lines, and to follow the meandering not just of bird tracks, but also of thoughts. Skilfully, the poet provides a window for the reader to look through, placing us right there, as humans, at our most vulnerable. Written in the third person, the tanka ingeniously builds on the idea of looking in from the outside. It could be that the writer is someone close to the person about to undergo surgery, or perhaps, a way to detach oneself from a difficult event. Either way, the effect is powerful, as we are welcomed to both observe and fill in the blanks with our own experiences, recollecting those crosses and events that have marked and shaped us. Executed with precision this tanka is succinct and cutting, yet at the same time elegant, lyrical and evocative.
ReplyDelete-- excerpted from the judge's commentary, accessed at http://britishhaikusociety.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/RESULTS-OF-THE-BRITISH-HAIKU-AWARDS-2016-edited-Copy.pdf