evening fire
thoughts flicker
in his words
Haiku Canada Review, 11:2, October 2017
Jennifer Hambrick
Commentary: Technically speaking, there is a subtle yet effective "link"-and-[shift] relationship between the two parts (flickering sparks from [physical] "evening fire" and [inner] "thoughts flicker"/in his words) of the haiku. And thematically speaking, Jennifer's verb choice in L2, thoughts "flicker," not only adds emotional weight to the haiku, but also expands its "dreaming room." What's left unsaid is at least as potent as what's said.
The light of truth burns without a flicker in the depths of a house that is shaken with storms of passion and fear... Thomas Merton
Note: For more about dreaming room, see To the Lighthouse: Denis M. Garrison's Dreaming Room and Roland Barthes's Writerly Text
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